"you connection to the host has been lost"#3977

I’m having connection problems only on some servers with mods, getting the message “your connection to the host has been lost”. When I try to join official servers, it works fine.
My internet is Starlink, and I don’t have any similar problems in any other game.
I click several times to join and it always gives this error or that other huge error.
Can anyone help me with this? Besides telling me to only play on official servers, lol. I’ve spent 2 hours straight trying to log in and it never works, while if I click on any official server it works right away.
I’ve tried everything, including ExitLag to use other routes, but nothing has worked. I’ve reinstalled everything, removed all mods and loaded again.
I’m about to give up.
I waited for the update, convinced that it would improve things.

I have been have a similar problem the past week. I just randomly lose connection to the private server. Attached is the error message